Well ... here I sit in this hospital once again ... Nikki has been in this hospital so many times since January 2007 that I probably could not count all of the admissions on my fingers and toes AND Nikki's fingers and toes combined! We have been here for almost three weeks ... this time ... Nikki had surgery about a week and a half ago ... she had a Laryngectomy ... which is in essence a permanent Tracheostomy ... with NO trach tube ... she just has a permanent hole in her neck which is her new airway. It is AMAZING to see the difference in her each day ... she is getting sassy again! She is interested and nosy again. She is EATING again! (Jello, and soft foods ... although I did throw in a little bread pudding today ... she ate it quickly!) She is tolerating sitting on the side of the bed for 5-10 minutes at a time ... this is awesome ... as she has not done this in about a year! Go Nikki ... Go Nikki!!! She is smiling again ... this makes my heart happy ... this surgery has brought Nikki back ... I spent so many hours laying beside her ... just watching her slip away ... I cried countless tears ... it is much to difficult to say in words how much my heart was breaking watching my daughter die before my eyes ... I feel like my life and my children's lives have been on auto-pilot for much of the past year and a half ... everything has taken a back seat to Nikki and her needs ... It has all been worth it! Nikki is here with us and has gained the love and respect of the doctors and nurses in the ICU and PCU! She continues to defy to laws of medicine and shows an amazing will to live.

She is flopping around in bed right now ... so I better see if I can calm her some ...

Nikki is definitely MY HERO!

Melanie